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Diamonds, World Domination, and You! December 5, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Diamonds , trackback
Ernst Stavro Blofeld

Ernst Stavro Blofeld

Today, we are all well aware that a diamond, being forever, is the perfect statement of love. From romantic gifts like a tennis bracelet to a sign of devotion like the Black Tie diamond ring, nothing quite seals the deal like a diamond. However, for you aspiring super villains, the diamond is equally irreplaceable on the path to world domination, able to aide in everything from doomsday devices to bribes, and even henchman payroll. For you, the super villain, the diamond is not just a sign of power, but also a means to procure it.

Let’s take Ernst Stavro Blofeld as an example. In the years following World War II, Mr. Blofeld assembled the well-known international terror organization SPECTRE. For a while it seemed that Mr. Blofeld would have to make himself content as mere administrator, forever to remain the man behind the scenes. He was becoming a cliché, the man in the chair with the white cat. Mr. Blofeld needed something to push him over the edge from villain to super villain. As the dramatic Hollywood reenactment, “Diamonds are Forever” showed, it was the diamond that proved to be the catalyst for Mr. Blofeld’s success.

Blofeld recognized that the diamond has certain intrinsic properties that lesser materials simply do not possess. For his space-based laser system, he knew that the diamond’s unique ability to serve as a refractory accelerator in a death ray was something that could not be fabricated or faked by any material known to man. The diamond, or in this case, many diamonds, were the only solution for turning his dream of world domination into a reality.

However, death rays and other doomsday devices are not the only uses for diamonds that a modern super villain has. Since, by definition, a super villain must be a traveler of the world, you often find yourself on the move. Travel, of course, brings the need to juggle multiple forms of currency. Switching from Dollars to Euros to Yen is a pain, and a good way to lose money through unfavorable exchange rates and fees. Diamonds, being universally valuable and with a largely stabilized global price, come in handy here. With their value largely based on size and quality, diamonds themselves can function in lieu of currency, making a villainous organization more efficient and thus more productive.

Remember, just as every diamond is unique, so is the diamond solution for every super villain. Some of you will surely need only large, fancy-colored diamonds while others can carry on with small, industrial stones. The majority of you, however, will find your own comfort zone somewhere in the middle. Don’t be afraid to experiment with how to incorporate diamonds into your organization for maximum effectiveness. After all, the world’s domination depends on it.

Diamonds Galore is both a leading expert in diamonds and member of the League of Supervillains. She travels the world lecturing on everything from engagement rings to weather devices. Ms. Galore also works as a consultant for Danforth Diamonds. Despite persistent rumors, Diamonds Galore is most certainly not Jill Renee, President of DanforthDiamond.com

Comments»

1. Diamonds, World Domination, and You! | DiggoMania - December 5, 2008

[…] read more | digg story […]

2. Liz goudprijs - December 7, 2008

That was interesting but surely not something that I would like to know about diamonds! I have read a lot of things about diamonds, fun facts as well as scientific facts, and how this precious stone has brought millions of people hope, life, and love. But to learn about how it is being used to gain power or world domination is entirely different – somewhat contradictory to its reputation. But then again, to each his own…

3. Jess - January 14, 2009

Haha, this is a cute post. Most enjoyable! 🙂