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Getting Engaged: What to Expect November 28, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Romantic Tips , trackback

When two people are in love, it’s natural for them to begin considering marriage. They start thinking about what life might be like together. Some couples approach it casually while others obsess over the idea. Eventually, one partner may propose marriage to the other. If the other partner agrees, they become engaged. At that point, the expectation of both partners (along with their friends and families) is to get married sometime in the future.

Getting engaged is a major step forward for any relationship. In this article, we’ll describe what it means to be engaged to your partner. We’ll also provide a few tips regarding the engagement ring and how to deal with friends’ jealousy.

What Being Engaged Means

Western societies have followed the same approach to getting engaged for generations. Two people date for awhile until they decide to spend their lives together. Once a marriage proposal is offered and accepted, a date is usually set for them to be married.

Being engaged means preparing for a lifetime spent together in marriage. Any thoughts of pursuing other relationships are tossed away. Doubts regarding the level of commitment, trust, and intimacy between the partners should be resolved. In effect, engagement is a preparatory stage before marriage.

Knowing For Sure

So, how do you know that the person to whom you’re engaged is the one you’d like to spend the rest of your life with? It’s largely a matter of examining your goals. Besides enjoying the satisfaction of being in love with each other, you’ll need to understand how your goals fit in with those of your partner. For example, if you want to have children and raise a family, it’s important that your partner wants the same.

The Engagement Ring

When proposing marriage, the man will present his partner with an engagement ring. It signifies both a gift and a promise to be married. Prices are often lower than those for wedding rings. They’re simpler in design and sometimes lack gems or diamonds. More than ever, couples are shopping for engagement rings together. While doing so eliminates any chance of surprising one partner with a marriage proposal, it also ensures that the ring matches her taste and preference. It’s also a good idea to shop for a wedding ring at the same time as both rings will need to complement each other.

Dealing With Friends’ Jealousy

It’s not uncommon for the friends of one or both partners to feel jealous when their friend becomes engaged. Often, it’s due to a subtle competitiveness. That is, a friend may not be able to understand why they are not getting engaged themselves. If you have a friend who seems jealous, don’t let it slide. Be upfront about it and try to resolve the problem quickly. It’s fine to be humble about your engagement in an effort to not make them jealous. But, it’s also appropriate to be excited about it. You shouldn’t have to hide that excitement.

The Planning Begins

A lot of planning takes place between the two partners after the marriage proposal is accepted. In the short term, most of the planning is devoted to the upcoming wedding, reception, and honeymoon. In the long term, factors such as having children, buying a house, and other plans are considered. There’s a dramatic change in perspective between the two partners as they move from a dating relationship to planning their lives together.

Getting engaged is an exciting, and sometimes daunting, stage before marriage. By remaining communicative, loving, and considerate toward each other, both partners can approach their marriage confidently with anticipation for what lies ahead.

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