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Getting Engaged: What to Expect November 28, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Romantic Tips , add a comment

When two people are in love, it’s natural for them to begin considering marriage. They start thinking about what life might be like together. Some couples approach it casually while others obsess over the idea. Eventually, one partner may propose marriage to the other. If the other partner agrees, they become engaged. At that point, the expectation of both partners (along with their friends and families) is to get married sometime in the future.

Getting engaged is a major step forward for any relationship. In this article, we’ll describe what it means to be engaged to your partner. We’ll also provide a few tips regarding the engagement ring and how to deal with friends’ jealousy.

What Being Engaged Means

Western societies have followed the same approach to getting engaged for generations. Two people date for awhile until they decide to spend their lives together. Once a marriage proposal is offered and accepted, a date is usually set for them to be married.

Being engaged means preparing for a lifetime spent together in marriage. Any thoughts of pursuing other relationships are tossed away. Doubts regarding the level of commitment, trust, and intimacy between the partners should be resolved. In effect, engagement is a preparatory stage before marriage.

Knowing For Sure

So, how do you know that the person to whom you’re engaged is the one you’d like to spend the rest of your life with? It’s largely a matter of examining your goals. Besides enjoying the satisfaction of being in love with each other, you’ll need to understand how your goals fit in with those of your partner. For example, if you want to have children and raise a family, it’s important that your partner wants the same.

The Engagement Ring

When proposing marriage, the man will present his partner with an engagement ring. It signifies both a gift and a promise to be married. Prices are often lower than those for wedding rings. They’re simpler in design and sometimes lack gems or diamonds. More than ever, couples are shopping for engagement rings together. While doing so eliminates any chance of surprising one partner with a marriage proposal, it also ensures that the ring matches her taste and preference. It’s also a good idea to shop for a wedding ring at the same time as both rings will need to complement each other.

Dealing With Friends’ Jealousy

It’s not uncommon for the friends of one or both partners to feel jealous when their friend becomes engaged. Often, it’s due to a subtle competitiveness. That is, a friend may not be able to understand why they are not getting engaged themselves. If you have a friend who seems jealous, don’t let it slide. Be upfront about it and try to resolve the problem quickly. It’s fine to be humble about your engagement in an effort to not make them jealous. But, it’s also appropriate to be excited about it. You shouldn’t have to hide that excitement.

The Planning Begins

A lot of planning takes place between the two partners after the marriage proposal is accepted. In the short term, most of the planning is devoted to the upcoming wedding, reception, and honeymoon. In the long term, factors such as having children, buying a house, and other plans are considered. There’s a dramatic change in perspective between the two partners as they move from a dating relationship to planning their lives together.

Getting engaged is an exciting, and sometimes daunting, stage before marriage. By remaining communicative, loving, and considerate toward each other, both partners can approach their marriage confidently with anticipation for what lies ahead.

Falling In Love: A Natural Progression November 21, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Romantic Tips , add a comment

Most couples who have spent a significant amount of time building their relationship with each other eventually fall in love. It’s a natural evolution of their bond. But, it’s also an indefinable stage that is often difficult to identify. Millions have asked themselves, “Am I in love with my partner?” Some are confused by what that means. Others misinterpret harmful emotions (for example, jealousy and obsession) as love.

In this article, we’ll explore the nature of love and how it grows. We’ll also describe some of the signs which suggest that it exists in your relationship.

Understanding The Nature Of Love

Often, it’s easier to define love based upon what it isn’t. A lot of people mistakenly think that certain emotions they’re feeling represent love. For example, lust is commonly thought to signify something more than it is. Or, one partner may be so passionate about the other that physical or emotional abuse occurs in the relationship. Neither instance signifies love.

When you love somebody, the feeling transcends the physical. You feel attached to the other person in a way that you don’t feel with others. The level of physical and emotional commitment is greater than with anyone else. And while love translates into intimacy, the willing vulnerability to which you expose yourself to your partner dwarfs that which you experience in all other relationships.

Trust Grows

While love can encompass a myriad of qualities, mutual trust is one of the most important. And it expands much further than simply trusting that your partner won’t cheat physically. In this context, it means that you trust your partner implicitly. You trust that he or she will not betray you or the relationship on a physical or emotional level. As your love grows, so too does your level of trust. Eventually, that trust reaches the point at which you’re unable to even conceive of your partner betraying you.

Intimacy Issues

Intimacy issues plague many couples. But, it’s important to understand what true intimacy is. And it’s equally important to realize that issues surrounding it don’t necessarily preclude love. For many couples, a lack of physical intimacy may be a problem, though they love and trust each other implicitly. Issues involving emotional intimacy are often more severe. For example, an emotional disconnection can be a warning sign that love is waning. A lack of communication may also represent deeper issues.

Signs That You’re In Love

So, how do you know when you’re in love? Unfortunately, it’s often hard to tell because it involves two people so deeply on various physical and emotional levels. That said, there are signs. For example, if your partner is late, your initial reaction may be concern for their safety. Or, you may begin to miss them horribly when they’re away. Also, small things may constantly remind you of your partner.

Enjoying Your Partner

A true manifestation of love is found in the level of commitment, trust, physical and emotional intimacy, and mutual attachment that you enjoy with your partner. It’s a confluence of several factors and any one factor does not, in and of itself, represent love. Some claim that loving your partner is more than mere emotion. It is, in effect, a choice that you make. And that choice helps to sustain the relationship during times when any one of the above factors falters.

In the end, falling in love is about enjoying your partner on a level that no other person can hope to experience. It’s about being vulnerable, yet trusting. It’s about sharing yourself physically and emotionally, knowing that the commitment will be reciprocated. Falling in love is a natural progression toward a lifetime with your partner.

Signs of Affection – Diamond Earrings November 14, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Diamond Jewelry, Romantic Tips , 2comments

Simple, yet elegant. Diamond earrings are instantly recognizable for their unique sparkle and their ability to mesmerize onlookers without calling undue attention to themselves. After dating someone for several weeks or months, you may want to give her a symbol of your affection. Something to let her know that she’s special to you. Diamond earrings can make the perfect gift. They have a natural versatility and can be worn with virtually any outfit or dress. But, buying them can be a challenge for those who have never done so. In this article, you’ll learn about the cut, clarity, and color of diamonds, as well as how to buy them as a gorgeous gift when you are on a budget.

When You’re On A Budget

Despite what some people believe, diamond earrings are not necessarily expensive. While some can cost over $200,000, others can be purchased for as little as $225. The price you can expect to pay will depend largely upon the carats. There are also other factors that can influence the price, including the cut, clarity and color of the diamonds used in the earrings.

There are a number of places from which you can purchase diamond earrings. You are unlikely to find the best deals at high-profile shops such as Tiffany’s. Instead, check with the jewelry shops in your area. They may have the earrings you need on consignment. Also, check estate sales. Don’t be put off by the prospect of buying used diamond earrings. Age and use have no impact upon the perfection of a diamond’s cut, clarity, or color.

Cut And Clarity

All diamond earrings use stones that have been cut and polished according to certain precise guidelines. For example, a Round brilliant typically has 33 facets on the top half of the stone and 24 facets on the bottom half. The purpose of these guidelines is to help ensure that the stones can scatter light properly. The more precise the cut, the more sparkle the diamond earrings can offer. The precision of the cut will have an impact on the stone’s value. Keep that in mind when purchasing the earrings for your dating partner.

The clarity of the diamond reflects whether flaws exist within the stone. Most diamonds have inherent flaws. Like the cut of a stone, a diamond’s clarity can have a significant impact on its value.

Does Color Matter?

Colorless diamond earrings will allow more light to pass through and scatter than those with some grade of color. They are graded by their level of whiteness, starting from “D” and progressing through “Z.” As you may imagine, the less color the stones have, the more valuable they are. It is important to note that stones graded “G” will have no color that is perceptible to the unaided eye. Buying diamond earrings with a “G” grade for your partner will help you save money without sacrificing obvious quality.

The Perfect Gift

Diamond earrings make a perfect gift for your partner for a number of reasons. First, they are comparatively inexpensive. Through careful, educated shopping, you can find remarkable deals. Second, they look gorgeous and can be worn as part of any ensemble. Last, and most important, giving your partner diamond earrings communicates a level of commitment and love. Simple diamond stud earrings will last a lifetime and serve as a memory of your adoration and dedication to your relationship with her.

Most people are familiar with the saying “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Diamond earrings may be one of the best ways to say, “I love you.”

The Four C’s of a Diamond – Color November 13, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Buying Diamonds , 1 comment so far

For a diamond, color, is one of the four major qualities that is used to determine the overall value of the stone. Color is grouped with carat weight, clarity, and cut to create the Four C’s of a diamond. Unlike the remaining C’s, however, the color of a diamond is one that is often hard to determine and is not measured on a firm, quantifiable scale as several of the others are. Rather, color is judged on a gradient scale ranging from letter D to letter Z.

The Diamond Color Scale

D through F – Colorless
G through J – Nearly colorless; requires a loupe to determine color when unmounted
K through M – Possesses a faint yellow tint, usually requires a loupe to detect
N through R – Possesses a slight yellow tint which can be detected with the naked eye
S through Z – Obviously tinted yellow even when mounted

Color and Price

As one would expect, the closer a diamond gets to color grade D, the more expensive that particular gem is going to be. The jump in price per carat per color grade can easily be a thousand dollars. This means that a diamond can get expensive in a hurry.

Match Your Setting with Your Color Grade

Perhaps the most important factor in determining what color grade is the best for a particular shopper is what type of metal on which the diamond is going to be mounted on in a diamond ring, earrings, or other pieces of jewelry. Yellow gold can seem to amplify a lower grade diamond’s yellow tint. Platinum or white gold can help by removing that yellow frame of reference. This means that, unlike carat weight or clarity, the buyer has a little wiggle room when deciding on diamond color. However, for most buyers, a diamond in the range of J or K is usually fine especially when setting on a whiter setting. For yellower settings, a H or an I can be considered ideal.

Determining Factors

Obviously every diamond is unique. So, when you’re shopping for diamonds, color has to be weighed as a determining factor, and not necessarily a deciding one. Color must be considered along with the rest of the Four C’s to create a list of requirements for the perfect diamond based on the needs of you the shopper.

We know that most people do not make a habit of shopping for a diamond, so feel free to contact your diamond specialist here at Danforth.

The Commitment Mystery November 7, 2008

Posted by Jill Renee in : Romantic Tips , add a comment

After you have dated someone for several months, it is natural to wonder about your relationship’s level of exclusivity. After all, most long-term relationships seem geared toward commitment at some level. However, left unspoken, many people have a tendency to think that their partners feel the same way they do. They are often surprised to discover that their partners feel differently.

Are you and your dating partner equally committed to each other and to your relationship? In this article, we’ll explore how your past relationships may signal your own inherent aversion to commitment. Plus, we’ll describe a few of the obstacles on the way toward enjoying an exclusive, loving relationship.

Is Your Past Telling?

When pressed, most people will claim that they would like to pursue a committed, loving relationship with someone who feels the same. However, our past relationships often betray our claims. That is, the people we have dated in the past may have exhibited behaviors that seem inconsistent with a committed relationship. When there is a trend of such behaviors, it may imply that we are not looking for commitment.

For example, assume that you have dated a string of people who have been consistently unfaithful. Rather than leaving them, you have remained in those relationships until they have imploded of their own accord. The willingness to stay may be mistaken for commitment, but can actually imply a self-sabotaging tendency.

Ghosts Of The Past

The older we get, the more emotional baggage we carry. Ideally, we are able to dispel most of it and get on with our lives. However, many people collect the baggage from the past and carry it with them into new relationships. Unresolved, this baggage can sabotage the new relationship. Unless we take the necessary time to resolve past transgressions, forging a healthy commitment with another person is unlikely. In effect, we need to achieve closure and leave the ghosts of the past in the past.

Fulfillment, Then Commitment

Nobody else can make you feel fulfilled about yourself. It comes from within. Seeking it from someone else puts undue (and unfair) strain and pressure on that other person. That said, once you feel okay with who you are as a person, it is much easier to develop a loving relationship that is built upon mutual commitment.

At this point, you should look for consistencies between you and your dating partner. Do you share the same ideals about morality? Are your long-term goals and desires compatible? Is your partner coping with any personal issues such as addictions, health concerns, or other problems? Uncovering the answers to these questions is the next step toward a committed relationship. And it requires communication.

Being Upfront With Your Partner

In dating relationships, many people have a tendency to avoid direct communication about issues. Exclusivity and commitment are good examples. Sometimes, one partner assumes the other feels the same about the level of commitment – or, lack thereof – in the relationship. Other times, one partner may fear the answer and simply avoid asking. In both cases, the ambiguity can create a major problem.

If you are in a relationship and want it to be exclusive, you need to be upfront with your partner. Maybe they feel the same as you; maybe they don’t. But, uncertainty will only exacerbate the issue. Assuming that you are ready for a commitment, clearly communicating as much to your partner is the surest path toward enjoying a fruitful, loving relationship with each other.