How to Approach the One – Essential Guidelines October 24, 2008
Posted by Jill Renee in : Romantic Tips , trackbackFrom Danforth Diamond, your engagement ring experts.
A date will never happen without making the first contact. You can glance and gaze at another person across a crowded room all night; if neither person approaches the other, the attraction will never lead anywhere. Often, fear and anxiety hold people back and prevent them from interacting with each other. It’s understandable. Nobody enjoys the prospect of being rejected by someone they have never met. It is much easier – and safer – to stay planted in our seats. Unfortunately, if you want to meet the person to whom you feel attracted, you will need to get up, walk over, and introduce yourself. In this article, we’ll describe how to make the first contact on the road to starting a romantic relationship.
Getting Over The Fear
Most of us fear the unknown. The tendency is based upon our survival instinct. The things we are unfamiliar about carry an inherent possibility of danger. So, we naturally avoid them, unless properly motivated to do otherwise. But, this fear can actually paralyze us and prevent us from meeting new people. This is the reason why millions of people resist the urge to introduce themselves to strangers.
If you see someone that you are attracted to, yet hesitate to make contact, you need to examine your fears. Are your fears valid? Most of the time, we simply fear being rejected. If we accept rejection as an ever-present possibility, the idea of approaching someone to whom we’re attracted becomes easy.
Learning To Talk
Some people break out into a cold sweat when they’re forced to talk with a stranger. Others begin to stutter. It can be painful to observe. But, these reactions are usually due to lack of practice. These same reactions happen when people are forced to speak publicly for the first time. The only difference between the neophyte public speaker and the professional speaker is experience. The same is true when talking to a potential dating partner for the first time. The more experience you have, the better you will become.
Have a few openers ready when you approach the other person. You don’t need to be a comedian. Be yourself. You may be surprised by how effective simply saying, “Hi” and introducing yourself can be.
Have You Overstayed Your Welcome?
When you approach someone for the first time and begin talking with them, take care not to overstay your welcome. Don’t dominate their time, even if the conversation seems to be flowing well. If chemistry exists between you both, there will be plenty of time to explore a dating relationship in the future. Getting up, walking over, and making the initial contact is merely one step in a process.
Remember The Goal
The goal of meeting someone in whom you are attracted is three-fold. First, you want to sate the curiosity that springs from the attraction. Second, you need to discover whether there is more than mere physical attraction between the two of you. Third, assuming you still find the other person appealing after speaking with them, you want to get a date. None of these things are possible without approaching the other person.
Whether you are walking across a crowded room to talk with someone whom you find attractive, or you’re sending an email to someone on a dating website, making contact is critical. It opens the door to exploring what may eventually become a fulfilling relationship.
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